Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Why it's a Mind Blow: This should be clear. Zombies are bad. Real zombies are real bad.
Here's how it's happening. Scientists have learned that a mind-controlling fungus is attacking the brains of its victims. After seizing control of the zombie's faculties, the fungus directs its undead host to climb high up in a tree and forces the zombie to bite the juicy veins (of leafs). The living thing that was, at this point, is no more. As a fungal stem sprouts from the zombie's head, a rain of fungal spores takes to the wind, infecting those below and creating a new generation of tree climbing, head sprouting, mindless zombies.
But there's good news, for now (moo-hoo-ha-ha-haaaa). The zombie disease, at present, is only infecting some ants. It's a vicious fungus, and it has to make you stop and wonder just how much fiction there actually is to the science-fiction pop that predicts a similar fate for us humans.
Is our zombie fungus out there? Does the government know about it? Are there secret zombie bunkers waiting for Mit Romney and Tom Cruise in the soft limestone hills of Orange County?
The truth is out there.